have to hold my hands up and say I was one of the people who thought that having 48 teams in the World Cup would be too much. I am happy to set the record straight and say I thoroughly enjoyed it. As a footballing spectacle, it was good, but the American influence on the tournament was too obvious and, in the end, unnecessary. These are the things that need looking at before the next tournament.
1. The countdown to kick-off was very annoying and completely unnecessary. Can you see the crowds in the Premier League joining in with that?
2. The rehydration breaks that FIFA insisted were not commercial, when we all knew they were. It came up on the big screens: “And now, the rehydration break, brought to you by Powerade!” Apparently, in the States, those breaks alone brought in $250 million. The Americans are used to in-play ad breaks. Let’s face it, a one-hour American football game takes at least three hours! But for us Europeans, it was totally alien and definitely broke up the flow of the game.
3. Why did we have to cut to FIFA president Gianni Infantino acting like the Godfather within 10 minutes of every game he attended?
4. Probably the most controversial thing was Trump calling Infantino to overturn the red card shown to American forward Folarin Balogun. We’re not arguing whether it was a red card or not, but the fact that Trump had the nerve to call Infantino in the first place, and then Infantino overturning it, stunk of a stitch-up.
5. I have never liked famous singers performing the national anthem. I prefer to hear the players singing out of tune and the crowd singing together, as that creates a great atmosphere. Step forward Jennifer Hudson, who was tasked with singing The Star-Spangled Banner. Now, I know she’s a star in her own right and can certainly sing, but she definitely spangled this one. Why do these singers always try to perform an anthem differently when the standard tune will suffice? Then they try to hit notes that, to be honest, just aren’t achievable.
6. And now let’s talk about the half-time show. Take a deep breath here because I’m coming in with a long run-up.
We started with a clearly pre-recorded and mimed performance from Madonna, who was flanked by what looked like overweight lookalikes of Ronaldinho and R9 Ronaldo—until I found out they were actually the real ones! They were driving a car that looked like they’d nicked it from The Banana Splits(remember them?), and I was half expecting them to break into “Tra La La, La La La La”.
This moved on to more miming from K-pop stars BTS, who were obviously thrown in for the youngsters. Then it was, of course, time for a substitute, but who thought Justin Bieber—who looked like he’d arrived straight from a busking stint at Grand Central Station—was a good idea? Especially when he broke into the most morose song he could find.
The only bright spark was Shakira, along with Burna Boy (no, me neither), but even that fell a little flat. I’m told the creative direction was put together by Coldplay’s Chris Martin. Surely he’d have been more successful bringing out his own band for 25 minutes?
Wayne Rooney mumbled his way through six weeks of football punditry, but his finest moment came when Gabby Logan asked him what he thought of the half-time show.
“Crap,” came his reply.
Well said, Wazza!
7. Finally, the trophy presentation. We all knew Trump would try to get himself into the celebrations, as he had previous at the Club World Cup. Infantino did his best to lead him away like a son would an errant grandad, but he couldn’t resist one final shuffle into the spotlight. The best thing FIFA did was airbrush him out of the final photos.
All in all, it was a good competition that was slightly spoiled by the Americanisms. Let’s see what happens in four years’ time in Spain, Portugal and Morocco.
Dad Taxi Mallorca 